Bear Report

[bulldog]

Bear season nearly over and the bears only got 2 fellers this year so far. Course one was a big beer belly type dragging a 16 lb 45-110 thru the oak brush and when the bear snorted the guy dropped the gun on his foot and broke it was why he got caught after limping at a high rate bout 100yds. Leastwise that's the coroner report from the legbone they found. Seems the bear sucked all his cartridges dry too sos they're thinking they might not be too many new bears next year from this particular gene line. Seems this guy used Crisco to grease his saltpeter.
Well, the other guy was an unrelated event but seems he too had a 110. Apparently he got a shot off but from what they can figure that's what knocked him out when his head hit the limb he was leanin against. They found both his boots as he had them rubber insulater things that bears don't like anyways. As you all know, bears usually go for the tanned leather boots first as they are salty and smoke flavored. Then they work there way up to the more dainty treats. This bear got full just past the belly it seems which is how his buddys could surmises he got cold-cocked. The fired gun was recovered in perfect condition but with inordinate amt of fouling, probably from the frost what formed in the barrell when said hunter entered his heated blind for breakfast of sausage and eggs; it was -20 that morning. It was supposed that the crystals probably threw the shot off or else he just plain missed due to the sudden unexpected events that transpired as he crawled out of the blind; the lens caps did appear to have been removed from the scope.
Both bears got away from the investigating rangers in the insuing snow flurries; all hunters are being informed to stay out of the brush areas. Due to the high winds and unseasonal cold spell the bears are laying low in said brush and appear to be inordinately hungry. This report is only being offered a public service and no guarentees are offered therein or so promised. Viewer discretion is advised.

[RMulhern]

bulldog

Thank ye kindly! Iffen I goes 'bar' huntin...I'll be shore ta wear LaCrosse rubber boots! Maybe they won't have no salt in 'em....ceptin what melts offen my froze toes!!

[Trigger Dr]

Bulldog,
I still think you have excellent sights on your typewriter, and are completely full of excrement.
With that being said, I also think that your posts are entetaining, is there some chance that in the past, you had a chance meeting with Ed McManus?
Some of his humor and writing skill may have rubbed off on you.
But.... I still think you are full of it.
Jim

[Kurt]

hmmm guess mebbe i better not use my slikkers sealed wid Bear grease no more