Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
Sometimes when I can't sleep or I'm sad I play the following video & it cheers me right up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJD4gm7ijPU
And watch this one also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHG0ezLiVGc
Wayne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJD4gm7ijPU
And watch this one also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHG0ezLiVGc
Wayne
NRA Life (Benefactor & President's Council) Member, TSRA Life Member, NSSF Member, Author & Publisher of the Browning BPCR book
http://www.texas-mac.com
http://www.texas-mac.com
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Re: Joke of the Day
Choice of 1st Lady?
BTW, early voting for the primary election opens on Tuesday for Texans. I bet you can guess who I’m voting for.
BTW, early voting for the primary election opens on Tuesday for Texans. I bet you can guess who I’m voting for.
NRA Life (Benefactor & President's Council) Member, TSRA Life Member, NSSF Member, Author & Publisher of the Browning BPCR book
http://www.texas-mac.com
http://www.texas-mac.com
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Re: Joke of the Day
The pair on the top!
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Re: Joke of the Day
James, James, James, although it's definitely not my choice, could your comment be a reflection of your sentiment? If so, although I definitely do not agree with his politics, I'm OK with your choice of lifestyle.
Wayne
NRA Life (Benefactor & President's Council) Member, TSRA Life Member, NSSF Member, Author & Publisher of the Browning BPCR book
http://www.texas-mac.com
http://www.texas-mac.com
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Re: Joke of the Day
I think he meant the pair on the bottom of the top picture......
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Re: Joke of the Day
In that case I wholeheartedly agree.jackrabbit wrote: ↑Mon Feb 17, 2020 8:28 pm I think he meant the pair on the bottom of the top picture......
Wayne
NRA Life (Benefactor & President's Council) Member, TSRA Life Member, NSSF Member, Author & Publisher of the Browning BPCR book
http://www.texas-mac.com
http://www.texas-mac.com
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Re: Joke of the Day
Sometimes I worry about you folks!
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Re: Joke of the Day
Many of the newer cars have a “Back-Up Sensor” that warns the driver before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something
Who invented this sensor? You may be thinking it was Ford or maybe GM; how about Chrysler, Mercedes Benz or possibly Ferrari?
No, it was a Japanese farmer by the name of Kaiwasiaki. His invention was simple and effective.
It emits a very loud, high-pitch squeal before the vehicle backs into something.
Here's his first prototype...Click Below.
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-esGe ... 87530.jpeg
Who invented this sensor? You may be thinking it was Ford or maybe GM; how about Chrysler, Mercedes Benz or possibly Ferrari?
No, it was a Japanese farmer by the name of Kaiwasiaki. His invention was simple and effective.
It emits a very loud, high-pitch squeal before the vehicle backs into something.
Here's his first prototype...Click Below.
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-esGe ... 87530.jpeg
NRA Life (Benefactor & President's Council) Member, TSRA Life Member, NSSF Member, Author & Publisher of the Browning BPCR book
http://www.texas-mac.com
http://www.texas-mac.com
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Re: Joke of the Day
This Is The Most Profound Joke Ever!
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day, “In English,” he said. “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the class piped up, “Yeah, right.”
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day, “In English,” he said. “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the class piped up, “Yeah, right.”
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Re: Joke of the Day
So, this polish dude meets a woman at the bar. They talk and dance, dance and talk, into the wee hours of the morning. Woman feels things are going great and says to the guy, " would you like to come back to my place"? The guy says yes. Woman says " I have to be upfront with you, I'm on my menstrual cycle", guy says " no problem, I'm on my moped, I'll follow you".
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Re: Joke of the Day
I went to the doctor and he told me "Don't eat anything fatty".
I asked "What like pizzas or burgers?"
He replied: "No. Just don't eat anything you fat bastard"
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene.
After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they call their sergeant on his cell phone. "Hello, Sarge" "Yes" "It looks like we have a homicide here".
"What happened?"
"A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped".
"Have you placed her under arrest?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet"
I asked "What like pizzas or burgers?"
He replied: "No. Just don't eat anything you fat bastard"
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene.
After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they call their sergeant on his cell phone. "Hello, Sarge" "Yes" "It looks like we have a homicide here".
"What happened?"
"A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped".
"Have you placed her under arrest?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet"
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Re: Joke of the Day
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.
The Italian said "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin Olive oil. Then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes".
The Frenchman said "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special Aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight!"
The Aussie said "That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours".
The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked "Two full hours? ... wow! That's phenomenal. How did you do it, to make her scream for two hours?"
The Aussie replied "I wiped my hands on the curtains".
The Italian said "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin Olive oil. Then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes".
The Frenchman said "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special Aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight!"
The Aussie said "That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours".
The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked "Two full hours? ... wow! That's phenomenal. How did you do it, to make her scream for two hours?"
The Aussie replied "I wiped my hands on the curtains".
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Re: Joke of the Day
There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBTI bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they 'identify' with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.
If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?
Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?
And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?
Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?
How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?
What has this country come to when the Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?
Their Motto Will Be...? "If You Gotta Pee - We Gotta See!"
If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?
Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?
And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?
Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?
How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?
What has this country come to when the Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?
Their Motto Will Be...? "If You Gotta Pee - We Gotta See!"