Shiloh Rifle Forums

I was at this wedding, and I said to the bloke next to me "Fucking hell, that bride is ugly".

"Do you mind? That's my daughter!" came the reply.

I said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were her father".

"I'm not, I'm her mother





I hope this next one’s not too crude for the forum







One day in the city a bus driver was making his usual stops. At the first stop a woman came to the front of the bus to get off. She turned to the bus driver and said "I think I was just molested back there".

The bus driver looked at her and said "Not on my bus. You couldn't have been". So, he lets her off and drives on.

He comes to the next stop and another woman comes to the front to get off. She, too, looks at the bus driver and says "I think I was just molested back there".

Now the bus driver thinks that something has to be wrong, to get two complaints like this in one day is just unheard of. He gets up out of his seat and goes to the back of the bus. To his surprise there is a bald guy crawling on the floor on his hands and knees.

The bus driver says "Sir, what are you doing?"

The man looks at him and says "I lost my toupee. I thought I found it twice, but I lost it again".

It Snowed Yesterday...............

8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

Laughed at “The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreignexchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry,
1775," he said.

"Very good!

Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People,
shall not perish from the Earth'?"

Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher, continuing.

"Let's try one a bit more difficult. Who said, 'Ask not what your
country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F.
Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of
yourselves. Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows moreabout our history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F___ the Japs."

"Who said that? I want to know right now!" ...she angrily demanded.

Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that?"

Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

The teacher fainted.

As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
"Oh shit, we're screwed!"


Little Akio said quietly, "The American public if Joe Biden gets elected”

A young guy decides to join the Foreign Legion.
He goes to France, applies, is accepted, trained and posted.
To a god forsaken little fort in the Sahara. For 2 years, hundreds of kilometers from anything.

Fancying himself to be quite a lady's man, he's dismayed at this and asks a fellow Legionnaire what they do for sex.

The other told him that there is a Bedouin caravan that passes every 3 months and that his luck was out, they'd just left that morning.

"So there are women in the caravan?" the new guy asked.
"No" replied the other soldier "but they have lots of camels. They're better than nothing."
"I'll never get that desperate" declared the new guy confidently.

Three long months of deprivation later everyone in the fort is now gagging for a root.

A radio call comes in from a recon patrol that the caravan has been sighted on the horizon.

Suddenly, guys start running out of every building, heading out the gate toward the as yet invisible caravan.

Mystified at this, the new guy grabs one guy by the arm and asks him WTF.

"We're going out to pick our camel for the night" was his reply.

"What the hell," says the new guy in amazement, "they're only camels."

"Maybe" replied the other guy heading for the gate again, "but you don't want to end up with an ugly one do ya?"

This site has some really great cartoons.

https://patriotpost.us/cartoons

Wayne